You have thousands of values—yes, thousands! Most people are surprised by that. That’s because our common understanding of “values” is often confined to lofty ideals like kindness or honesty. While these are important, they’re just the tip of the iceberg. The truth is, your values extend far beyond abstract ideas and into the tangible, everyday world around you. Misunderstanding this limits your ability to fully experience your values, leaving untapped potential for joy and fulfillment in life. So, what exactly are these thousands of values?
What exactly is a value?
To start, you need to realize that you are surrounded by values. A value is something you are pursuing or already have, both materially and spiritually, that makes your life better.
Take a moment to look around. Notice the countless material things in your immediate environment that contribute to your wellbeing. For instance, when I look around, I see the computer I use for work—an essential tool for productivity and creativity. The computer sits on a stand that keeps it at eye level, protecting my posture and preventing back pain. My keyboard allows me to type, while my headphones let me enjoy music without disturbing my wife, who shares this space with me.
The comfortable chair I’m sitting on supports me through long hours, and the desk beneath it all provides a stable foundation for my work setup. The air conditioning ensures the room stays at a pleasant temperature, and my mug holds the coffee that fuels my energy. I even value the very green view from my window and the trees themselves.
People are also a value to me: my wife and daughters, my co-workers, my friends, my students, the faculty at my daughters’ school, the staff at my condominium, the trainers at the gym, and so on.
But it’s not just the physical things (people included) around us that are values—it’s also what we do with them. My kids are values, not just because they exist, but because of the joy and connection I feel when playing with them, teaching them, or simply watching them grow. I also value going out with my wife, getting help from the trainers at the gym, talking to my friends, answering questions from my students, etc. For each person in my life, there are many ways in which we interact that are a value to me (and to them, which is why we interact with each other).
These actions and interactions are not just activities—they are the manifestations of deeper, more spiritual or abstract values. For instance, kindness and honesty are abstract values, as well as romantic love, and friendship.
But here’s the crucial part: you can’t truly value these ideas unless you take the necessary steps to bring them into reality. Friendship (spiritual) requires actual friends (material), and making and maintaining friends demands effort, understanding, and actions that foster a meaningful connection between two people. It’s in the shared laughter, the mutual support during tough times, and the trust built over time that the abstract value of friendship has a concrete correspondent in the friends and interactions themselves.
It's what you have AND what you're pursuing
The same idea applies even if you do not have the concrete manifestation of the value yet. Imagine someone who has neglected their health for years. At 50 years old, they eat poorly, avoid exercise, and are significantly overweight. After a sobering visit to the doctor—where they learn their dangerously high cholesterol poses a serious risk to their life—they decide it’s time to make a change.
In that moment, they begin to value their health. Although they don’t yet have the physical manifestation of being in good health, they take concrete steps to pursue it. They commit to changing their diet, walking daily, and losing weight. Each meal choice, each step taken, and each pound lost represents their engagement with this value. Even before achieving their ideal state of health, their actions demonstrate that they are actively pursuing it and, in a matter of speaking, keeping the value alive.
Cultivate your values to nurture your life
Values aren’t literally alive, but, as an analogy, you can think of them as that. Every time you cultivate a value (i.e. interact with it, nurture it, take care of it, improve it), it is as if you were watering a plant. Plants need to be taken care of to grow, and so do your values. If you stop providing adequate water, sunlight, and so on, for the plant, it starts to die.
The same is true for your values. You need to know what are the requirements to nurture your values so you can keep interacting with them to maintain them, and to grow them. If you don’t “water” your values, they start to disintegrate and eventually will no longer matter to you and don’t contribute to your life. At that point they stop being values.
What you value shapes what you pursue, what you cherish, and ultimately, who you are. Understanding and engaging with them—both in the abstract and their tangible manifestations—is not just a philosophical exercise; it’s a fundamental part of living a fulfilling life.
Everything I value are values to me because I’ve consciously recognized their importance, acted to obtain and maintain them, and appreciate the role they play in making my life better.
When you nurture your values, they flourish, enriching your existence with meaning and purpose. But just like a plant, they require attention, effort, and care. Neglect them, and they begin to fade, losing their ability to contribute to your wellbeing and happiness.
The good news is that every moment offers an opportunity to reconnect with your values. By recognizing them, prioritizing them, and acting in alignment with them, you breathe life into them—and, in doing so, into yourself.
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